DINK-hood vs Parenthood

Recently, both of us have separately wondered if we would have preferred to stay childless. Baby Calvin can be such a handful at times especially when he starts to cry and nothing you do can placate him. It makes you feel so helpless. Then there are the many 3am nights when he refuses to sleep and just wants to be carried around. The past few nights seem to have worn out Johnny and traumatized him enough that he commented today that he won’t want to have a second kid.

Maybe I’ve been relying too much on him when he is home. It’s definitely tiring for him to work during the day and then come back to more work – feeding/bathing/washing etc. On the other hand, if I had to do all the work taking care of baby 24 by 7, I’d probably go mad or more likely, depressed. We’re definitely both stretched a little thin recently and I’m looking forward to the time when Calvin can sleep through the night and is more interactive. As it is, most of his awake hours involves him crying for something – food, a fresh diaper or a warm cuddle and his crying face really leaves much to be desired. This is an old picture but his goblin face is definitely still the same =)  I wish he would smile more often!

Parenthood is not an easy task. Apart from the physical challenge of taking care of him, there are also many worries like whether they will grow up well and finances are definitely high on the worry list. Lest anyone thinks otherwise, we love baby Calvin very, very much. Just a simple sweet smile is enough to make us think that it’s all worth it. I can just imagine that Johnny will have a really great time playing with him when he’s older.

In contrast though, I can definitely see the allure of remaining as a Double-Income-No-Kids household. It’s an easy lifestyle and there’s much less responsibility. In the past 4 years of working, we’ve enjoyed traveling on a whim and going out for dinner was not a major logistical operation (more like impossibility at this point). Since I’m also working, there’s a lot more money to go around. Now with a baby, I’m contemplating being a stay at home mum.

Maybe it’s partly because we’re exclusively taking of Calvin on our own. The maid helps us with his laundry and cook my meals but otherwise, our baby son is solely our responsibility. I just don’t trust anyone enough to take care of him.

Anyway, the whole debate in my mind is moot because we have our cute baby son in our arms now and I don’t regret having him at all. I’m also wondering if I’ll have the energy and will power to have #2. I’ll leave that for us to decide in another 2 years time. Probably by then the memories of the first few painful months will be dimmed by time and the other joys of parenthood. =)

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One Response to “DINK-hood vs Parenthood”

  1. e* Says:

    hey darling,

    i know you love him, questions notwithstanding. i think the DINK-hood vs. parenthood question is perfectly normal – i’m just amazed that most people either don’t seem to ask themselves that question, or think that parenthood is such a clear choice.

    i’ve been asking myself that question all my life – and i’m still not sure i want a kid.

    (btw, most people laugh at this next bit): just having *KITTENS* is driving me up the wall (most people laugh because they can’t believe i’m comparing *kittens* to kids – but that precisely proves my point!) – the random pooping, senseless meowing, organising for them to be taken care of when we’re out/on holiday, etc. – one thing i’ve learnt is that i’m definitely not ready for kids now (maybe not ever!)

    and therefore, i think you’ve been extremely extremely brave. and i’m sure you’re doing a really good job as a first time mom!

    *BIG HUGS*

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