He’s Just a Baby

Calvin is still having very broken sleep at night. Which means we both have pretty crappy sleep as well. Usually J will take the first shift and I’ll deal with him after I pump at 4am until it’s wake up time. He’s been waking up 10+ times a night, but at least after yesterday’s flip-a-thon, he’s no longer flipping with his eyes closed!

The result of us having terrible sleep is that patience is in short supply. I sometimes get pretty frustrated like when he woke up at 6am the other day and all he wanted to do was flip. So he’ll go on his tummy, cry for help, I flip him back. Repeat ad nauseam until 7:30am when he got himself all tired and grumpy and wouldn’t stop crying. By that time, I was pretty fed up myself and probably wasn’t the best person to comfort him. Luckily, daddy came to his rescue. I felt pretty bad after that. After all, he’s just a little baby. He can’t help it if he gets all excited and can’t control himself. It’s not like he’s doing it to spite me. I guess when I thought about how helpless he is at comforting himself, my heart softens. After all, it’s just a little sleep. Why stress over it? I don’t think I’ll really die of exhaustion though I’m a little worried that I’m still losing weight. But at least a change in perspective really makes me happier especially since there’s nothing I can really do to change the situation, short of tossing him out of the window (not!)

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