Supermom (not)

Sometimes, I get all depressed that I’m not the supermom that I’d like to be. I would wish I had oodles of patience and be able to hold and look at him lovingly even if he’s been the biggest handful I’ve ever encountered. I would wish that I could be more attentive and be able to read all his cues correctly – be it sleepy, hungry or just plain bored. Or that I could take care of him all by myself at night so my big baby can sleep more. Or that I would be more active in cooking and feeding him solids (but he doesn’t seem to like them =[ )

I guess I’ll have to accept what I’ve always known, that I’d never be a domestic goddess no matter how hard I try and just be the best that I can be. So called mothering instincts aside, we are not born knowing how to be perfect mothers. Or perhaps my idea of being a perfect mother is wrong. I mean babies were made to cry, it’s their only way of communication after all. It’s probably my own sense of incompetence and helplessness that gets in the way. Hearing him cry and not being able to comfort him and stop him from crying makes me feel like a failure. That in turn makes me frustrated and lose patience with him, which later makes me feel even worse about myself. Gee

If I’ve already made sure that he’s not in physical discomfort (i.e hungry, wet diaper, sleepy), I probably shouldn’t fret too much about him releasing some stress through crying. J says Calvin has a 3-second chocobo summon. When he cries, his mama chocobo will run over and appear in 3 seconds. >_< I guess I should cut myself some slack and also give little Calvin some breathing room as well.

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