Spirited Child

In retrospect, I realized that Calvin is what they call a spirited child which is also kinda like an euphemism for kids who are more difficult to handle. Not that I don’t love you just the way you are, my little one. It’s just that I’ve always puzzled at why many of the advice I’ve read on parenting never worked.

Some of the more pronounced traits are his first reactions to new things. He’s usually slow to warm up to new objects, activities or places. When I bring a new unfamiliar toy home, he would usually leave it in a “neglected” corner, barely interacting with it. Then slowly, his interest will peak after a few days(?). Maybe it’s after he has seen me handle it a few times. He tends to be uncomfortable with unfamiliar places and would need to be carried around.

Or having problems with regularity. When he was a baby, I kept trying all those routine setting stuff that people suggested but it never worked. He has almost never cried from hunger. His nap times were always irregular and even his bowel movements up till this day is totally unpredictable.

Then there’s the difficulty handling transitions. He always needs advanced notice to switch to the next activity. And his persistence – when I tried to ignore his cries, he just cries even harder and longer. And just tonight, he went on and on about having a torchlight that he can leave on the whole night whiteout getting hot (my excuse for turning it off)

Not sure about the one about being high energy now but I read some anecdotes about how the babies never wanted to sit in strollers and wanting to not only be carried but to be in constant motion even when carried and that was Calvin to a tee.

The label itself not really important. He definitely exhibits some of the characteristics. It’s comforting to know that he’s not the way he is because we’ve spoiled him or from bad parenting. That’s just the kinda of person he is. I’m going to get another parenting book about such kids and see if I can pick up more tips to help us with the more exasperating situations.

Calvin 0313 (23)

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One Response to “Spirited Child”

  1. e* Says:

    Once, when I was pretty young – maybe 4 years old, I was in the upstairs bedroom and wanted me parents to come and pick me up and bring me downstairs (just because i was being a brat), and they refused…

    I just started crying and screaming and shouting, and they ignored me. And I was pigheadedly stubborn I tell you… so I think I cried and screamed and shouted for HOURS (with breaks in between). and my parents never came up.

    and even after I stopped, I stayed upstairs reading a book (just because I refused to give in), until I got hungry. and then i went downstairs about 5 hours later.

    but after that, i realised that there are certain lines my parents won’t cross… and screaming and shouting wouldn’t break their spirit. so i never bothered doing that again.

    not all kids are the same of course… but i definitely think kids test and are always testing the boundaries… (i’m only surprised they didn’t come up and whack me earlier… probably my dad wasn’t in at that time)

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