It’s Not Too Late to Say Sorry

Recently, I must have been short of sleep, partly because Calvin has decided not to nap in the afternoon and I’ve lost my opportunity to get some rest too. I guess I should have gone to bed earlier but it’s easier said than done. The maladies of modern life! I feel like I have so much to get done that I sacrifice sleep. It’s certainly not just me and Johnny. In fact, Calvin is very resistant to sleeping as well. Maybe he feels left out when he has to sleep early. He’s certainly curious about what we do when he’s sleeping.

Back to the topic of sleep, I’ve always been the type where sleep cannot be compromised. If I don’t get long hours of uninterrupted sleep, I’ll fall asleep anywhere, even during class while copying out chinese characters onto my notebook. I remember looking up to see what it is, then looking down and closing my eyes and writing with my eyes closed. I was that desperate to rest. Or like today, while I was reading a book to Calvin, I dozed off and said some hilarious nonsense about “The cat said to the mouse, “please let me go””, when I was supposed to be reading about the things Bad Kitty did that was good.

Not only does my concentration lapse, my temper is short too and I feel terrible about it. Like when Calvin insisted that he wanted something complicated for lunch today after we spent an hour in school with him for the halloween parade. It was already lunchtime and I had some leftovers so I told him that’s what we are having. Then he started being stubborn and said he won’t eat any of it, which made me mad. So I told him he can go hungry for lunch if that is the case. At that point, I was feeling quite annoyed so I kept quiet and walked off just because I knew nothing good was going to come out of my mouth when I’m mad. I guess Calvin felt abandoned because he ran after me, sounding very upset. I did wait up for him and we were okay after that, but I still haven’t had a chance to apologize and explain to him why I do it. And I got upset with him one morning too when he told me he wanted to do a project on nemesis in little einstein – a jet that is a bully. In Calvin’s words we argued about it, but on hind sight maybe I didn’t listen carefully to what he was saying. In those situations, I wished I could channel some zen and been a cool mum but I guess it’s ok to be wrong. It might be a learning experience for him too when he sees that mummy makes mistakes but is willing to do the right thing to make amends.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: