Willfulness

Calvin is a strong willed boy. I’m kinda knew it from the time he was a baby, when he wouldn’t stop crying even when I’m trying to take a time out and ignore him. He’s the type who would cry on and on and on, getting more and more worked up until I appear so the feeble attempt at the cry-it-out method was rather quickly abandoned.

Recently, his strong will is exhibiting itself more strongly. He does not like to be nagged at and would insist that I keep quiet after the first reminder. He would sulk if I tell him to do things that he needs to do. It makes mornings and bed time a whole lot more stressful but maybe I should let him make his own choices by telling him things like “Now is the time to get ready if you want to get to school early/ read two books”  so he doesn’t feel like I am trying to bend his will.

I’ve changed my approach to conflict with him and to be calm and listen to what he needs to tell me first. He feels a great need to be heard. When he gets his emotions off his chest, he is a lot more receptive to listening to me. Certainly the “Because I say so” way never ever works on him and neither do I like that way of communicating with children. Though there are times when I feel so exasperated that I wished he would just do as I say without having to yammer on and on and on….

Parenting a strong willed child is certainly tiring but I hope that as time goes by, he will learn to manage his own emotions and learn ways to cope with life’s disappointments.

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