Worry About Bullies

Calvin has been having a great time in school, making new friends with kindergartners even from other classes. He is more than academically ready for kindergarten here though we are far from adequately prepared for schooling in Singapore. They have two 20 minute recesses everyday, which they share with other kindergarten classes, and 40 minute PE lessons 3 times a week so he’s getting a decent amount of outdoor/ physical time everyday.  I am still trying my best to go outside with him for at least 30 minutes everyday just to play and so I could encourage him to practice new skills. (I was very encouraged that I’ve managed to coax him to go down the tunnel slide once more and taught him how to to get down from the rock wall. He is now confidently doing both without needing my support or verbal instructions)

His classroom assistant was telling me what a delight he is to have in class because he is such a funny boy and all the volunteers love to talk to him. He’s been doing so well in school that I was taken aback when I heard that his bus-mate had told him he “must bring his (toy) fan or he won’t be friends with him”. Well I somehow thought relational aggression was something girls do to each other, maybe because my sister and I have both been on the receiving end of it before. On hindsight, it’s just a kid thing to do. I’m guessing Calvin’s friend probably was just trying out this new “skill” to get what he wants.

When A said it to Calvin, it made his tummy feel bad and his heart was racing. He was worried because he had asked before and I was reluctant to let him bring the fan along in case the blades get squashed in his backpack.

I told Calvin that it wasn’t something a good friend would do and that good friends won’t stop being your friend because you won’t do what he wants. What if a friend asked you to do something wrong, like break a law so you can stay friends? At least Calvin knew logically that he should say “No, I won’t”. I also let him know that I don’t object to him bringing his toy along as long as he takes good care of it and his friend asks nicely for it. In fact, if his “friend” decides to snub him, I’ll make sure he brings along some cool toys that he only shares with true friends. *insert mama bear growls*

The good thing is that these boys are not in his class so he was quite a few good friends that he hangs out with everyday – Caden (whose mum is a teacher in school) and Thomas (whose parents are from Taiwan). I’m sure I’m just worrying excessively but it’s my little baby after all. It’s hard to watch them grow up and face difficulties even if logically I know I have to let him learn from it and that he will emerge more resilient than before.


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