Archive for April, 2017

Path to Self Fulfillment

April 28, 2017

In the eyes of my husband, I might even be arty farty. Yes, me who can’t draw to save my life – my dogs look like pigs, horses look an overgrown dog.  What I mean is that I am easily moved by artistic sentiments, by inspirational words or maybe the correct word is really sensitive. It seems that my son inherited this sensitivity too because he too would tear up while watching movies.

I’ve been feeling down on occasion, thinking that I should be doing something more with my life. I am happy, but I wonder if I am squandering my intellect and talents. I’m reading Lean In by Sandberg Sheryl and there was a question “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”. And I wondered if I was afraid that I would find myself lacking in many ways if I tried something new.  I’ve been considering doing a Ph.D. in psychology, something I’ve been interested in since college.  I promised myself if I could think of some good thesis topics, I’ll go for it.  I’ve almost forgotten about it, but I think it’s time to get back to more reading to see if my interest in it will wane. I’ve been thinking about teaching too but feel like I won’t be satisfied with it.

In my own way, I’ll slowly explore what I enjoy/ have enjoyed.  I remember back when we graduated, I was suddenly intensely interested in personal finance and investing. I read voraciously. I even ventured to take the CFA Level 1 test. (I studied for but did not take the Level II since I was having morning sickness) Well, the problem was, the more I read, the less interested I was because it seems like active investing doesn’t really pay off for the casual investor. And so I stuck with index investing and was so done with the finance world.

Next year, I’ll actually be on the PTA board, which will be a big step out of the comfort zone for me.

At times, I feel lucky that I have the downtime to experiment, but it’s hard not to feel small when I see my peers enjoying success in their careers. Silly ole me! I guess I still can’t let go of not seeming successful to others.