Archive for January, 2018

Finding His Path

January 23, 2018

I’m worried about helping Calvin find something he really wants to do with his life. I never quite got down that path. My childhood was basically following this path that the system laid out and I find myself more than a little lost when it was time to choose a major. Sometimes I feel like it was more by elimination than a true choice. School lays out a path that doesn’t encourage exploration and it’s easy to get distracted by the goal of getting high scores. That’s something I hope we can delve into over the summer.

I read some homeschool blog dismissing the education public schools give because of the lack of passion kids have for things that are forced on them. But she goes to say that kids will learn math and reading by themselves anyway and she isn’t worried that her two boys are two or three grade levels below in math and/or reading. I agree with some of it but people really have a tendency to see only in black or white (she said school was basically for parents addicted to government paid childcare). I don’t think it’s clearly good or bad, just that it clearly won’t work for everyone and you shouldn’t shit on other people’s choices to make yourself feel better about your less conventional decision.

Dealing with Frustration

January 18, 2018

So little guy is now a yellow belt in karate and has been trying to tie his belt himself. I’ve taught him a few times before via scaffolding — I tie it almost all the way and he does the last part. Except he doesn’t seem to remember most of it now.

But… he’s still stuck on “I know this and I will do this myself” mode so he’s been struggling with tying it the whole week. He would spend 5 minutes doing it by himself, never thinking about asking for help. It would be time to go and he was all frustrated that it didn’t work out and insist that I help him right now! Today he was moping the whole 10 min car ride about “why won’t my belt tie?” Like someone had played a prank on him and rendered his belt unmanageable. He was kicking the back of the seat in frustration. And then he sulked when I couldn’t to his belt right outside the car because it was raining hard. So I had to tie it right outside the dojo while holding on to the umbrella and while wearing my gloves.

I’m not sure why I don’t indulge him more when he’s already frustrated but somehow I get annoyed when he expects me to drop everything and help. Am I worried about his dependence on me? I think I have to accept that as he grows he’ll vacillate between dependence and independence and I shouldn’t begrudge him when he tries to be independent but realize he wants to be helped. In my head, I seem to think that once he decides to be independent, he should persevere at it but it should be ok if he wants to show me a moment of weakness. I definitely need to work on my own flexibility. Grouchy mama, back down!

Then and Now 2017

January 6, 2018

The Good

  • Sweet sensitive boy


At least he has stopped talking about being afraid of dying.

  • Good-Natured

He’s an easy-going boy who tends to go along with his friends suggestions.

  • Listens to us and follow our advice
  • Good social skills?

He can accommodate our request to play ball and suggest that we can play that and also his game. He played really well with both his cousins when we visited.

  • Able to delay gratification

I’ve started giving him an allowance every month since his birthday.

Things to Work on

  • Fear of Failure

He is still reluctant to tell me about what went wrong in school. Like he says he gets into trouble in math class but refuses to tell me and later says he forgot…. (sounds like an excuse if there ever was one)

  • Inflexible

When things don’t go the way he planned, he gets very emotional and upset. He was upset about the tube being broken and didn’t want to go down it.

  • Doesn’t stop talking…..ever.
  • Dealing with conflict with friends