Archive for March, 2018

Self Worth

March 23, 2018

It’s hard to remember that self worth should be tied to personal growth and not by an external title or traditional success. As a stay at home parent, I definitely struggle with a sense of low self worth because it is a job that is not well appreciated or respected. After all, the barrier to becoming a parent is low and no education or training is necessary.

But then gain the perception of others is mainly vanity. I remind myself that educating my child is what I choose to do and I like that I can spend time with him. And I’ve been growing more as a person in the past few years than in the ones when I accumulated resume material. I’ve also regained the deep thoughtfulness that fulfills me and I have a lot more time to read. By all accounts, I am a lucky girl. If my dissatisfaction arise from a lack of Instagram or Facebook worthy things to share, then what I need to do is probably adjust my expectations. Not that I’d ever share anything “worthy” anyway, I am at the end of the day private person and a social media dinosaur that feels strange sharing stuff like that. On the other hand, I’m also not shocked or affected by that whole brouhaha about Facebook mining your personal data because I’ve always been wary about sharing personal information. And websites that try to force me install more apps that asks for access to my contact number/ photos etc usually gets the shaft from me.


Gamification of Life

March 12, 2018

I heard on a podcast about this woman who suffered from a concussion, which led to serious depression and she started thinking about her struggles as a game objective to overcome and she recruited allies (family/ friends) and get power ups (e.g hugging the dog which helps boost her mood). She said that while it didn’t lessen the pain, she stopped suffering and was able to keep moving on.

So while I was lying there, unable to sleep because of a blocked nose which forced me to mouth breath, which turned my tongue to leather, I suddenly had this vision of little C as the character of these games where the objective is to master Chinese/ math or whatever it is we are trying to tackle. And along the way are these monsters (or youkai) that keep trying to stop him from getting there. I was seriously having fun coming up with names like the Muddling Mud, Dr distraction, Miscommunication Monkey, Boring Beetle. The good thing about externalizing the problems is that we remove the feelings of inadequecy from the child and work on seeing these as obstacles that are not part of who he is but something to overcome. We’ll have to think of some power ups that help him against these enemies and in this scenario, I am an ally who provides power boosts or a guide who looks out for better paths to take. I even came up with a debuff for mum called the angry ant bite, that causes her to go on a rampage on her allies.

I am hoping it will alleviate the frustration and stress for both of us and make working together more fun.

Or maybe this will one of those ideas that only sound good in the middle of the night when you are all drugged up with medicine and the brain hadn’t had much sleep.

I also had another idea to improve his Chinese oral by letting dictate a short ‘presentation’, which I will write out and he can read it or memorize to present to his dad (that’s our only willing audience right now, I’m afraid. Oh wait I’m totally forgetting grandparents….) Not sure why my brain is going on overdrive when what I really need to do is sleep…