Riding on the Bike

March 24, 2017

From the first Little Tikes car, to the Strider balance bike, to the Schwinn tricycle…. most of those vehicles were pretty much underutilized in our household. The car got pushed down and used as a factory and the balance bike was placed upside down and was a fun spinny wheel. Out of all those, the tricycle probably got the most use since we could push him around in it.

The subsequent ones fared a little better – the roller skates got maybe 10 uses so far, the scooter has been pretty fun for his dad and me and finally, recently, we got him a bike – with training wheels. I know the training wheels don’t help at all in learning how to ride a bike properly, but he needs that boost of confidence so he can learn to pedal and steer and to just enjoy the mobility of a bike. Before we put on the training wheels, I could see that he was terrified of being on something that wobbles, even if his parents were keeping a viselike grip on it.

He has been talking about riding the bike everywhere which he has never done before. Usually, when I asked if we should bring the tricycle/ scooter, he’ll usually prefer to just wander around on foot. It was wonderful seeing his delighted face as he zooms past us on the sidewalk, watching us jog to keep up with him. We took it out a few evenings ago and ended up pedaling (and pushing) in a sudden downpour! It was quite an adventure for us. I don’t think I’ve walked around in heavy rain before or at least for a long, long time.

Emotional Control

March 16, 2017

Little C can have intense emotions. A couple of months ago, he’ll often get so frustrated because things didn’t go the way he planned, that he is totally overwhelmed and start to act out. He also has an oversized fear of death – wondering about what it’ll be like if mum died, or if he died and start to sob about it.

Recently, I’ve felt that he has gotten better control of his emotions. He has learnt strategies to deal with those feelings and to use his brain to rationalise to himself that ‘No, mum is still young and won’t just die’ or ‘There are no monsters hiding in the dark because nothing has ever jumped out so far.’

He has been very proud to tell me that he has learned to deal with one kid in his class, N, who likes to bother him. We concluded that this kid just likes to see his reactions, so lil C said whenever N grabbed him, he’ll stand stock still until N gets bored and walks away.

I feel like he is more open to my criticisms and seem to see it in a positive light and will work on improving his behaviour like washing his hand properly, lifting the potty seat before peeing so I won’t sit on a wet stinky potty seat etc.

 

Learning a New Language: Japanese

March 14, 2017

I tried out Duolingo before, learning a bit of French since I’ve always wished to learn it. This time round, I actually wanted to learn Japanese but they didn’t have a program for it yet so I ended up starting French again for fun. And then I went and looked for other apps to learn Japanese, so I ended up spending the last two days exploring both. Even though French is more widely used and probably more useful to know, I’m much more interested in Japanese because then when we go to Japan again (some day…. hopefully not too far into the future??), I’ll be able to actually read some of the signs!

I’ve learnt some of the katakana previously because we were playing a game in Jap and needed to be able to read the translated names. So now I’m learning the hiragana as well. I’m pretty sure I won’t become fluent via casual self-study but it’s still fun anyway to learn something new.

How Are Babies Made?

March 10, 2017

I didn’t think we’d have to talk about it so soon but my curious 7-year-old asked me something to that effect. I can’t remember his exact words. He followed up by asking me about what I mean when I said we “planned” to have him. I wasn’t quite ready to go into planned parenthood with him. I kinda fudged my way through it by saying that as long as we don’t put in the daddy bits, the egg inside won’t get fertilized and won’t turn into a baby. I promised to borrow a book so I could explain it better….. I got two of those books today so I’ll need to read it first to make sure they are not too explicit.

At any rate, it apparently arose because he was worried about getting a younger sibling. He seems to have been traumatized by how meddlesome little toddlers and younger kids can be. Well, luckily for him, we are all happy with our family size so his wishes will be true.

You Fell for It

March 8, 2017

Calvin’s reaction when I told him about how I majorly hinted to J that I would like to be asked out the first time.

Passionate About Learning

March 4, 2017

As I read to learn how to best teach little C math, I find myself beside myself in excitement to read about the research on how children (or people in general) learn math. I’m on a path to find new passions so I was happy to note my eagerness to read a bunch of technical writing about math. For a while, I thought maybe I wasn’t really good at math because, in JC, I didn’t find math to be as easy as before. I was obviously in a fixed mindset and did not notice that because I breezed through math in secondary school, I essentially stopped working on it and improving. Surely a true genius won’t need that!

I thought I’d never be a good teacher because in secondary school, I tried to teach a friend my own unique/ creative way of understanding a topic and she seemed even more confused than before. I remember coming away thinking that I can’t be a good teacher. It never occurred to me that with practice, I can become better at teaching.

Oh, how foolish I was then. When I read about the growth mindset mentioned in the previous post, I felt liberated from my self-rejection. Now I truly realize the worth of a mentor/ parent to guide you during that age when I thought I knew all the important things worth knowing and I’m hoping I can provide C with the guidance that I could have benefitted so much from. But to be able to do that, I’ll continue to dig deeper into the art and science of learning. It may end up being a career for me, I do have many more years ahead even after he’s grown, but right now, I’m not going to fret about it and just enjoy the process of discovery.

Stay or Go?

February 28, 2017

That has been the question that plagues me for at least half my life. I feel like I’ve been living a nomadic existence for a long time, with 5 major moves since I was 13. Perhaps it is this feeling of impermanence that made me feel distant from the people around me. Like I feel like we will be gone before we know it and I’ll have to start from scratch again. Maintaining and creating new relationships takes a lot of mental energy for me.  But as my little guy entered my life, I find myself changing and trying harder to make those connections and create a social network. Next year, I’m even joining the dreaded PTA which I’ve scoffed at just two months ago. I feel the need to push myself out of my comfort zone and learn more about myself and relating with others.

For the longest time, I’ve had (and probably still do to some extent) a fixed mindset that was telling me that I’m just the way I am, I can’t change. Recently, I’ve been reading Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset and also Angela Duckworth’s Grit, in an effort to learn about how to instill grit and a growth mindset in little C. I feel motivated to go out and explore myself further, to take risks and in the process, learn grit myself. What better way to teach your child than to first absorb those lessons and live it.

Regardless, the fact that we are migrants makes our lives here possibly transient. It’s hard to feel satisfied with every aspect of life and I wonder if I’ll ever find a place where I say, “This is it. We are staying here for good.” Perhaps this is the dissatisfaction that has motivated me to move in the first place. When we were back in Singapore serving our bond, I was disappointed by the lack of intellectual stimulation and the non-existent work life balance and that propelled us to move away. Now that we are here in the US, I worry about the education that C will be getting – the lack of rigor and anti-intellectualism – and more importantly, racism. I’m wondering if we should move back during his secondary school years, in part to prepare him for the inevitable military service.  Or maybe instead of trying to escape, I need to work on the issues where they are and deal with them as they come.

Because all that moving makes it hard for us to set down our roots. It’s hard to decide to buy a house for example. On the other hand, I’m also happy with the flexibility of renting and not having to deal with major housing maintenance of which I know nothing of.

Reminiscence with Food

February 27, 2017

I couldn’t quite think of my next culinary adventures so I started thinking about food that I like to eat when I was back in Singapore/ Malaysia. So far, I’ve tried my hand at sardine puffs and cha siew bao. I’ve been pleasantly surprised that they turned out quite well and close to what I remember eating back at home.

I’m not sure I’m passionate about cooking but it’s definitely an enjoyable hobby. I’m rather proud that I’ve become quite a sufficient home cook.

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Earliest Memory

February 23, 2017

Calvin’s earliest memory: Standing on the heater grill at Chelsea Dr and thinking about how warm it is.

My earliest memory was staring at the fluorescent light (the long one) in my living room and thinking how bright it is. Being piggy-backed down the stairs by my mum in the morning when I was feeling extra 撒娇.

Exploring New Things

February 14, 2017

I think the main reason I’m enjoying stay-at-home life so much is that I’ve begun to explore many things I’ve never tried when I was younger. Take cooking and baking for example, I barely had a chance to even watch my mum cook before. I cooked minimally in college especially since there wasn’t a dishwasher. I didn’t even use the oven once.  After cooking almost daily for more than 5 years, I’m starting to really enjoy it now that I have picked up some basic skills and I have more time to try out new things. Including mundane things like cutting hair….

And with Calvin around, I have more incentive to try out new things and explore them with him. Like when we went apple picking, I was probably more excited than he was. Somehow we didn’t think to try that out in our 4 years in upstate NY.

I was just thinking the other day about how limited my resources were when I was staying in the hostel in Singapore. I remember we had to come up with a science project in Sec 2. There weren’t many books in the library that we could easily access. I had no internet at home nor reference books about science etc and of course, no parents whom I could ask. I remember feeling rather dismayed at my lack of ideas and was wondering how others could come up with cool ideas like the pin-hole camera that someone in my class did. In the age of the internet, all these things are so much easier now. Our local is really wonderful and stock all manners of books suitable for kids, from fiction to nonfiction, academic to even manga!!! So now armed with all these resources, I feel ready to learn a whole lot more with my little kiddo. Especially since I am now his main source of enrichment, I’m all ready to go jack- of- all- trades mode.